What Do We Call The New Lightsaber? 8 Names From Across The Internet…

Mayhem.

This is what happens when Star Wars nerds suddenly don’t know any more than normal humans about something Star Wars related.

Of course you know this but I have to say it anyway – NEWS FLASH: the new – and first – trailer for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens has been released. (If you have been hibernating for 72 hours and are yet to see it, scroll to the bottom of this post.)

4 Beautiful The Force Awakens iPhone Wallpapers

Ok. Now let’s get down to business.

The trailer had many big moments but one more significant than the rest. This moment:

Creepy Dark Sith Guy Wields New Scary Lightsaber
Creepy Dark Sith Guy Wields New Scary Lightsaber

The crazy new lightsaber design sent geeks worldwide, including me, on a panic trip. The streets were filled with frenzied men and women running around, screaming into their storm trooper helmets and Chewbacca masks:

‘WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT CAAAALLLLEEEDDD?!?!’

It’s a fair point. Since the trailer’s release there has been an unspoken online fumbling between nerds as they stammer around different, mis-matched, hashed names for the new lightsaber.

It’s time for this to end. It’s time to agree on a name. Here is a selection of 8 I have harvested in the past 24 hours, with sources both reputable and less reputable.

Choose your favourite, and vote in the poll near the bottom.

Claymore Lightsaber

As seen on MovieWeb and Mashable, this name is simply a visual comparison between the lasers of the lightsaber and the sideways lasers on a claymore (a military weapon).

A claymore mine as represented in the Call of Duty gaming franchise.
A claymore mine as represented in the Call of Duty gaming franchise.

Crosshilt Lightsaber

Jeff Yang, Writer at the Wall Street Journal, gives it a more medieval twang.

Jeff Yang Original Spin CrossHilt Tweet

Crossbar Lightsaber

The Verge go for the simple and effective route…. Also sounds pretty cool.

Crossblade Lightsaber

The Mary Sue get blade in there instead of bar to give it a more foreboding tone.

Screenshot from themarysue.com
Screenshot from themarysue.com

Crossguard Lightsaber

One of the more widely-used names, as popularised by Buzzfeed and the Washington Post.

Screenshot from thewashingtonpost.com
Screenshot from thewashingtonpost.com

Broadsword Lightsaber

Vox and FirstShowing take the name back to what potentially inspired it.

Broadswords are a medieval sword with a similar protective hilt.
Broadswords are a medieval sword with a similar protective hilt.

Crucifix Lightsaber

The Daily Beast gives us a beastly title that rather fits the dark character wielding the weapon.

Screenshot from thedailybeast.com
Screenshot from thedailybeast.com

Triple-Bladed Lightsaber

A rather matter-of-fact title with no real creativity from Entertainment Weekly

Screenshot from insidemovies.ew.com
Screenshot from insidemovies.ew.com
So what’s your favourite? Got any better ones?
Comment below or contact us via

Twitter @MovieMasticator, or Our Facebook Page!

Anyone else not get the Star Wars hype? Click here to join the minority. 

As promised, here is the full trailer once again:

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4 Beautiful Star Wars: The Force Awakens iPhone Wallpapers

What do we call the new Lightsaber? 8 names from across the internet…CLICK HERE TO VOTE!

Through scouring the inter-web I found this quadrate of beautiful fan-art posters for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, made in the geek-dom frenzy that occurred post-release of the UNBELIEVABLE first teaser trailer.

These posters do fit nicely on an iPhone – or any phone – screen as a wallpaper that does the job while we wait for official images to be released.

MORE: Why I don’t ‘get’ the Star Wars hype…

Now go show off your fancy new phone wallpaper to your fellow proud nerds and watch them whimper with jealousy.

Jurassic World Trailer: 3 Positives and 3 Negatives

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Jurassic World Trailer: 3 Positives and 3 Negatives

The Park Is…Like A Video Game

You may or may not have heard that the Jurassic Park franchise is being rebooted by some bloke called Colin Trevorrow – who has only one other feature film under his belt – and it will star Chris Pratt, fresh from being our favourite Star Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy. 

The movie, for the second time of the three franchise sequels, will have minimal involvement from Steven Speilberg – the brains behind the original concept.

Despite the franchise only having, by all accounts, that one good initial movie, the buzz for this ‘reboot’ of sorts is actually quite audible. The first trailer was released this week to a flurry of internet excitement, film-lovers supping at any promotional titbits they can scavenge until the big Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer is released this Black Friday. The main event, if you will.

Even so, it has kept useless opinions bubbling along just fine so far. You can watch the trailer for Jurassic World below… Skip it to see the analysis.

Here are 6 points to get your brains whirring…

NEGATIVE – Potential lack of realism?

Just ridin' to the shops with my velociraptor friends.
Just ridin’ to the shops with my velociraptor friends.

At one point, Star Lord Chris Pratt is seen riding a motorbike next to a herd of dinosaurs…and surviving.

Now I’m no expert on prehistoric organisms, but those dinosaurs don’t look like friendly dinosaurs.

So either Star Lord is all friendly with the dinos, or they can’t see him for some weird reason, or they are genetically modified to not want to eat people (just like the unseen big bad dinosaur was ‘cooked up’ in a lab.)

POSITIVE – Bigger death-toll

Y'all gonna die.
Y’all gonna die.

Unless I’m very much mistaken, the franchise has always had dino-demolition on a relatively small scale in terms of human loss. Now, I’m not saying what every kids action franchise needs is a good old slaughter of humans, but it is a nice twist on a series that has focused on the picking off of small groups, rather than the catastrophe of a big group.

Not only that, but real punters. The park is actually open this time! Bigger stakes = more emotion = potentially a better film as a result.

NEGATIVE – Plastic CGI?

Jurassic World Trailer Screenshot Gates

It would be unfair to assume that this CGI we see in this trailer are the finished effects. (He says going on to criticise it anyway…) But as we’ve seen with the likes of Harry Potter and The Hobbit, Trailer CGI normally does translate to the CGI in the resulting movie.

If this is the case for Jurassic World, some effects do look a bit plasticy, no? A bit…video gamey? Why is it that those dinosaurs in the original Jurassic Park still seem just as good as these?

POSITIVE – Some cool signs of creativity

Screen Shot 2014-11-27 at 20.07.38

Reminiscent of Godzilla’s rippling growl in the recent Godzilla, here we get a taste of a guttural, lion-like rumble from what sounds like a big dinosaur…and it sounds cool. Good work, sound people.

Furthermore, that shot (above) where the spines of a dinosaur run across the boy’s face in silhouette is s’awesome.

More of the same, please.

NEGATIVE – Dialogue

Jurassic World Trailer Screenshot Dino Cooked Up

Maybe it’s just me, but Chris Pratt saying

‘What kinda dinosaur they cooked up in that lab…’ 

seems SO corny for some reason. Maybe it’s his delivery, or maybe it’s just the words…and how they are put together…in that order…

Not to mention the ‘If something chases you…run’ joke that the Mum pulls at the start of the trailer to her kids…

the kids she is gleefully sending off to a theme park that is a direct descendant of one of the biggest scientific disasters in the history of mankind (i.e. Jurassic Park where everyone died from the experiment).

Not the time, Mum.

POSITIVE – The elements of the original

Jurassic World Trailer Screenshot Car Dino

A sequel should build upon the original, yes, but that doesn’t mean it should lose its spirit. If a movie is getting a sequel it (normally) means the original or predecessor did something right, so why run away from it like a squealing Chris Pratt from a big genetically modified dinosaur?

This movie seems to be returning to the franchise’s roots with a sentimental rendition of that wonderful score (John Williams yet again constructing greatness).

Other elements also make it seems as though the movie will have at least some semblance of the original’s soul; all that greenery, the happiness and safety before all the destruction, the vehicles shipping punters round the place…

Do you have any other points or opinions on the trailer? Let us know via

@MovieMasticator on Twitter, or on Our Facebook Page