Why the Warner Bros Comic-Book Movie Slate is Stupid…

If you haven’t heard, Warner Bros. made an announcement about the movies they will release between 2016 and 2020. Swot up on it all in our Quick Commuter’s Guide HERE.

So basically they wanted to tell us all that they will be continually hammering us with comic-book movies for the coming six years. It’s ludicrous, and here’s 3 reasons why:

1/3: Who the hell cares? It’s Twenty-FRICKEN-Fourteen, never mind 2016 or 2020! One wonders whether they will still be alive in 2020 never mind paying to go see Green Lantern for heaven’s sake.

2/3: This announcement is SO 2010. Marvel pulled this stunt ages ago and are ALREADY following it through with The AvengersIron Man 3, Captain America etc. The difference is, by the time Marvel have finished releasing The Avengers 3 we may not yet, as an earthly society, have 1) Died or B) Got SO sick of comic-book movies that we would rather examine our own prostate for the duration of their over-long running times.

The Avengers showing us how it's done.
The Avengers showing us how it’s done.

3/3: They are trying to create a buzz about far less-loved characters. It’s easy for Marvel – they have Spiderman, Iron Man, Thor, Hulk – all the child favourites. Sure, Warner Bros’ DC Comics have Batman and Superman (and lord knows they are exploiting them to the max), but beyond that the best thing they have is Wonder Woman. Who is essentially Superman but a woman. #Variety.

Is it just me or is it embarrassing, awkward, no – darn-right RUDE to lay out before us a jumble of meaningless titles, dates and characters, expecting us to be able to muster even a molecule of excitement for an apocalypse in 2016, never mind a movie about The Flash in 2018.

Convince us to spend our money first, like Marvel did. After all, they are basing these plans on the assumption that WE will provide the box-office-busting numbers to fund them. So the least they could do is show a bit of manners. 

Do you agree or can you not wait for Green Lantern in 2020? Let the world know via @MovieMasticator

Want more things to get angry about? Click here…

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